Goodbye my pretty Bracelet.. :(

I'm gonna miss it. I'm gonna have to let go of it. I plan on taking it to the pawn shop cuz i'm soo broke. I loved that bracelet. It meant more to mean than alot of my other jewelry... actually... its my favorite piece... He bought it for me in Maui.. we had "re-newed" our vows.. I remember how much I just wanted to make up everything to him.. how I wanted to show him how I can be a real good wife without making him mad, hurt.. I planned it all for a surprise.. He had no idea where we were going to... it was that year where I started feeling more comfortable being "alone" with him.. When I say "alone" I meant just me and him..no kids, no friends, no family.. I used to have this fear that... if he took me anywhere far... that he would get mad at me or something I would do.. or something in him would trigger .. and he would just kill me...I even told him more than once.. i'm afraid to be alone with him, i was afraid to be in a locked room with him, a locked car... he used to laugh. And I'd be even more terrified. I became that way because several times he's locked me in a closet, room or car.. and beat the shit out of me.. or choke me till I can't breath...
Anyways.. back to the bracelet.. It was mothers day and we walked into a jewelry shop.. I asked the lady how much? and she asked if I was local.. I told her no.. then she said I look and seem like one so she was jus gonna give me the local price... The orginal cost of this bracelet $1300 for the weight in gold and the width of the bracelet... we had it personalized with my name and his... and inside inscripted.. jus Maui'd 2006.. the lady sold it to us for $560 it was definately a steal. I think that was one of the nice moments we had.. him buying that for me. I was TOTALLY SHOCKED that he was actually buying it for me.. I've ALWAYS wanted a real gold Hawaiian Heirloom bracelet... and I finally got one... but now.... jus like my grandma's necklace... I have to let it go too.
Life doesn't suck... its just sometimes.. we have to climb BIG TALL mountains... and I'm walking up the steep part of it. I'm gonna miss you my pretty bracelet... i'm gonna miss you soo much.. I know its just a materail thing, I know I can get another one later... but its never gonna be the same.. and maybe its a girly thing.. but... yeah.. my heart hurts... for all of this.. for all that i am now.. for everything i'm going thru.. for my kids... my heart hurts.. and i'm trying to be strong.. but sometimes.. I feel like I wanna jus lose myself... and disappear..