I was relieved yesterday when Mike texted me to get him... I was seconds away from going to the pawn shop.. but now... the strain is back.. and this time I really need it. I feel so sad inside about it.. I know it just a bracelet.. but it had some sentimental value.. and now.. i'm gonna let it go.. for a couple of bucks.. I thank GOD.. my kids are still safe, healthy.. I have a job... I have a car to drive, a roof over my head... I know I need to humble myself because its more worse for others out there... and this is just a bracelet... so inside... I let it go.. I let it go... I'm trying to let it all go.. and I just can't understand why its hurts so much inside? I wish I had more time today.. because.. I wanna punch my bag right now.. and let it all out.. I wanna punch, kick and just let it out.. I want it all out I want all these problems gone.. I wish just ONCE.. things would work out right for me.
I feel disgusted inside of what I might have to do.. I cringe so bad about it.. I'd rather have my pinky toe shot off instead of resort to this.. but I have no other choice.. cuz when it really comes down to it.. I have no one.. but myself. I reap what I sow- so I will deal with this strain.. I know i'm not the only one going thru it.. so i'm trying to stay positive, i'm thankful, and... I know everythings gonna be ok..I hope...
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