Monday, June 28, 2010

I went to Pride Parade this past Sunday.. I went with my girls Sandie, and Jessie.. and as Usual.. we had a BLAST! it was cool we got to ride shotgun on the float..it was soo fun dancing.. and cruzin down Market st. with all those people the hype the energy.. I made a new friend, Matthew..He's thier co-worker too..soo much fun, naked people, tequilla... uggh... caaa raazy!!

So now it's Monday.. back to reality and all the other crap I gotta go thru.
I did my morning walk on the Embarcadero.. I didn't feel like going on the pier so instead I went where the bow and arrow is... Every morning I see this old homeless lady sitting near the water.. she paints these little pictures and sells them.. so as I was walking back to work.. I pass her again.. but this time.. some well dressed normal joe sat next to her.. and just hugged her... I heard her weeping.. crying... It made me hurt sooo bad inside.. thank GOD i had my shades on... It was just one of those moments I guess when people use the term "I feel you" ya... I felt that.. whatever she was going thru however her heart was hurting.. I know she jus had to let it out.. and whoever that man was, friend, child, sibling... he just sat there.. and held her..all I heard him say was.. "its going to be ok",..
It killed me, It fucking killed me inside... cuz.. I guess even though I don't want to admit it.. I need a hug. I'm happy... i mean I'm kewl right now.. but inside.. sometimes... it hurts my heart, because.. I wish things would be better. that's all.. and I know it will be better.. .but... yeah.. this empty feeling I get.. I'm happy I don't have to deal with it while being with WHATS HIS FACE, but it's still empty... and I'm just wondering... if it will ever go away..

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